I hate people that are happy.

Why is everyone getting married and having babies???? It's like an onslaught, my eyes and mind are being raped with the image of women in their wedding dresses and posing with their pregnant bellies and changing their myspace name to "Mrs. Douchenozzle". Like anyone fucking cares about your retarded baby, that quite frankly isn't as cute as you think he or she is. Plus, they'll probably end up gay or a tranny. You should be so proud. And, I know that you are super excited about having just married some douchebag that is a plumber or some equally degrading profession, but you're gonna get divorced in like 5 years. That's reality. And if you make it beyond those 5 years, you'll end up fat and covered in stretch marks from having four of the douche's babies while he's out fucking...me. Yes, me. You heard it. I'm the one married guys like to screw around with. Do you know why, faithful wives? Because I'm not you. And because I'll let a guy come on my face...but that's neither here nor there. Here's the cold hard truth, if you are truly happy and content with your life, do you need to parade it all over myspace? So that some meth head that you used to go to high school with 10 years ago can comment on your pics and act as if they are happy for you? In reality, they pity you because they get to do drugs and have sex and you don't. But don't worry, you can do that after you get divorced and your ex-spouse gets custody of your mentally challenged kids.

For the record, for those of you that know me, know that I do want to have kids and get married some day. That still remains. However, I do not plan to wipe my poopy business all over the myspace community if either of those things happen for me.

I know, myspace is stupid. I'm trying really hard to stop, but it's like crack.