Trailer trash update

I received an email from Gerber Baby AT 7:06:

I only discovered your "trashy" photo when I saw your profile photo on Facebook. You are well endowed so I was willing to slum.

Then, a second email at 7:13:

You are actually very attractive. I am not desperate at all; I just thought you were gorgeous. Sorry I was abrasive; I think you were a little rough on me. LOL


Two things....one, it's like two different people writing me emails. He clearly finds my "well endowment" very appealing, cause now he's backpedaling. Does he honestly think that I'm going to meet up with him now, or accept him as a friend on facebook? He's both creepy and completely dillusional. Second, did he really laugh out loud after typing the last sentence? Really? That abbreviation should only be used when you actually, literally laugh out loud. That alone is reason enough not to date this guy.

Trailer Trash

So, I realize that I haven't posted in about 9 months. During this nine months I've gotten pregnant and am ready to give birth any day now.

Just kidding, kids are gross. Yay Roe vs. Wade! Actually in this nine months, I've left my job and my hometown to move to Portland for a whole new life. It's been great so far and I'm trying the best I can to make friends and "put myself out there." I'm not very good at it though and the following story illustrates my "non-people person" personality beautifully.

Last week, Thursday Sept 9th to be exact, I was bored and decided to scroll through craigslist. Mostly I like to read people's hopeless, desperate, funny pleas for companionship. I happened upon an ad a guy posted that was mildly funny. He described his last couple dates with various women and their batshit crazy antics. It sounded a lot like my own dating life so I responded to it. I realize this makes me look hopeless and desperate as well. Anything is possible. He responded to my email very quickly by finding my facebook and requesting to be added, as well as an email response. I considered it briefly, but changed my mind. I decided not to write him back. To be honest he looked super boring and, his self-description of "the adult version of the Gerber baby" was right on point. Done and done.
On Sunday he wrote me another facebook message letting me know that he was still waiting for me to add him. And then another email today wanting to know if he did something wrong, and why was I not responding. That's two emails and two facebook messages in 4 days, all with no response from me. A little creepy right? I then had a disturbing vision of being stalked by a giant baby, so I wrote him the following email:

No, I just changed my mind. Two emails and two facebook messages? Really? This reeks of desperation. Just a piece of advice for the future: If someone doesn't write back after one or two emails, it means they aren't interested. You should learn how to take a hint. Sorry to be rude, but this kind of behavior isn't going to make you appealing to the ladies. Good luck in your search.

His quick response:

You look like trailer trash anyway. Anyone is desperate if they are talking to you.

I had to LOL after reading this. He manages in two sentences, to make himself look worse than me. A normal woman would probably leave it at that and forget about Mr. Goo goo ga ga. But not me, I just sent this to him:

Hahaha!! I'm sorry, I had to laugh and respond. You realize you actually insulted yourself more than me right? If I look like trailer trash, why were you so interested? And if someone who talks to me is definitely desperate...then what does that say about you?

I have not received anything from him yet in response to this. I look forward to having a juvenile email fight with this douche. I promise to update.