The latest round of weird pics

So you love dead people that can watch you pee?


I learned that this would be a fireman's vehicle. But, shouldn't you be putting fires out rather than jumping over them?


He's probably your only friend.


What is it that you like, wolves or moons? Or just the combination of them together? I feel like only Native Americans should be allowed to do this, but even then....what's the point?


This was taken at an international food court in Chinatown, Seattle. I love duck, but I don't think I could eat it looking like this.

This was not in Lacey

Surprisingly, these pictures were not taken in Lacey. I know, shocking right?


This was on the freeway in Lewis county on my way home from work. The guy inside the truck, which I couldn't manage to capture, was a 65 year old greaseball. First of all, I felt like it was 1998 and I was in high school. Secondly, not every woman that passes him is going to have a nice rack, so his sign is very foolish.




This guy is clearly a fan of the Huskies. But he hasn't updated his paint job is about a decade. Can't you just put a bumper sticker on your car like everyone else? I feel like the only person who gets to do this to their car is the coach or the winning quarterback....even then, it's sad. Also, why doesn't he take the money he put into ruining his car and put it to a new car. One that runs and doesn't suck so badly.

Personal Space

What the eff is with people feeling the need to invade other people's personal space? My boss is super touchy and I don't like it, but put up with it cause I know he doesn't mean harm by it. However, this morning he came to tell me something and got so close that I actually felt his breath on my face. ICK! It's not appropriate to get that close to a person that you aren't fucking! Then I went to the AMPM to get a soda and this guy behind me in line was standing behind me and slightly to my right. And also 2 inches away. Everytime I moved up or to the side, he moved right along with me. Then when I was paying for my soda, he was at the counter with me, practically pressing his shoulder into mine.
Why can't people just stay the fuck away from me???????

If I don't know you, I want you at arm's length....at least.

Children are gross

I take issue with the "Customer with Children" parking spots now at grocery stores. You get a special parking spot because you procreated and brought your snot nosed offspring with you to scream, cry, throw shit in the store and just generally be in my way? I don't think so. Handicaps, yes. If you can't walk or are retarded then you should be able to walk 10 feet less into the the store than normal people. But, fat moms? NO. I park in every one of those spots when they are free. And I hope that someday a meth mom sees me get out of my car with no rugrats and yells at me for it. Cause I'll tell her that I deserve to park there because I'm NOT populating the world with drug addicted babies by taking birth control and maybe she should consider using it.

One Saturday trip to Lacey....

I kid you not people, these five pictures are from ONE trip to Lacey this past Saturday afternoon.

Duh, look at this kid. He's the poster child for the Aryan race, of course he's a racist.


This was on one of those Toyota Scions...which is shaped like a box. This vanity plate is like putting a sticker on Star Jones' forehead that says, "Does not have nasty extra skin on upper arms."


Look, I like Lord of the Rings just as much as the next dork...but really? And are they stating that they like Hobbits or that they ARE hobbits???


No, you shuduup. Seriously. Shut up and drive off a cliff.


And last but certainly not least, a man that has fallen asleep in a recliner chair in the middle of Fred Meyer. Really. His eyes were closed and he was sleeping. Go home.

The one I didn't want to write.

I’ve been procrastinating in writing this particular blog. Writing about this makes it real, and it being real makes me pathetic and not feel like myself. But, writing makes things better for me eventually, so here goes….

For as long as I can really remember, sex has defined me in one way or another. Whether it was the story of me wanting to be a stripper at the age of three, being the Aids Queen in middle school health class, being the first to lose my virginity in high school or being the boob flashing eternally single slut throughout the better part of my 20’s. I always had a story about a conquest, a one nighter, a married guy….However, over the past year (exactly one year), it’s been more of the lack of sex that has defined me. Yes, I said it. It’s been a full year since I’ve had sex. Mind numbing at first, not so bad now, but totally confusing the entire time.

Totally confusing because when this “thing” that you’re supposed to be good at, do a lot of, be an all around expert at, leaves your life, you start to forget what it’s like. Sometimes I feel like I really don’t know what two hot naked bodies pressing together actually feels like anymore. And I float between really, really missing it and needing it and not giving a fuck and kinda glad I don’t have a man to deal with and complicate my life. This obviously goes so much deeper than sex. It’s been a year since I’ve had sex, but it’s been about four years since I’ve been in an actual relationship.

The last year has been interesting in other non-sexual aspects of my life. I’ve uprooted my life by quitting my job, deciding to become a nanny and go back to school, having that fail and needing to go back to work, my sister getting engaged and helping her plan her wedding, gaining thirty pounds and not being confident about my body…..I’m kind of a mess. The age old question comes to mind, which came first the chicken or the egg? The celibacy or the life in disarray? Are they even connected? Who knows.

The last two weeks specifically have been a little different. My sister GOT married, my impending 29th birthday....I've been doing a lot of reflecting. I've also done a whole lot of staying in my apartment and not talking to my friends. I've spent this time trying to sort out what it is that I want out of my life. The answer? I don't have a fucking clue.

For now, I want to be happy. I guess that's all we really can ask for out of life. Whether happiness for me includes having a man in my life, a raise at my job, all my bills paid off, a dog, kids, no kids, a house....whatever it includes, that's what I want.

I can't help but think that if I had been fucking someone this whole time, I wouldn't be going through this weird awkward stage I'm going through. I guess it boils down to sex has always been a distraction for me. Now, with it gone I can actually deal with me. Dealing with me is hard, I can be very stubborn and unmotivated. But, luckily I'm smart and not a complete social retard and can actually gain something from this stage of my life.

The fog has begun to lift and I've definitely done some learning and will continue to do so. And hopefully from this, life will hand me what I deserve when it's the right time. But hopefully soon, I'd like to be distracted on a regular basis.

Holy shit, I wish I were this funny.

From my favorite website: tshirthell.com

America is facing a crisis. I'm not talking about health care, unemployment or even the packs of kangaroos swarming the Midwest and raping everyone in sight. I'm talking about our catchphrase shortage. This nation was built on the strength of our catchphrases. Without "Give me liberty or give me death!" and "The British are coming!" we might as well be Canada or the Bermuda Triangle. That is why it is so important we maintain this heritage of catchphrases.
I was hopeful when Borat had every douche on the planet saying "Very nice!", but it's been three years and that well is dry. So I'm offering new catchphrases. I don't expect to return us to our heyday when "Dy-no-mite"s and "Where's the beef?"s were falling from trees like golden apples, but hopefully with this list and a little effort on your part we can get the ball rolling in the right direction.

(Don't worry, I'm not going to half-ass it and just slap together a bunch of random words and nonsensical phrases. I'm going to 51%-ass it and include when and how to use these phrases.)

That's bullshit, Marty! - To be shouted in church every time the pastor pauses.

And rub your junk on it. - State plainly after you've given a waitress your order.

Only one of us is getting out of here without poop in their hair. - Whisper on crowded elevator.

This one's for Jesus! - To be shouted at the exact moment of orgasm.

Skittles and foreskin - Like "Whatever," this is used to show indifference. Like if your wife says she's leaving you after 10 years of marriage... "Skittles and foreskin, man. Skittles and foreskin."

Jangleplatz! - Replacement for "Awesome." Simply because I'm tired of every asshole with the mind of a 14-year-old using some form of "awesome" to describe anything because they're unaware of other adjectives. If people use this, that shit would be jangleplatz. (That sounds awesome.)

Murf da skwaaay! - Not sure, something rappers should say.

Take it all, Becky! - To be angrily yelled while using a public urinal.

I was promised ass-play! - To be shouted at any cashier or sales clerk who asks for payment.

To the reservoir! - Shout at any motorist with his or her window rolled down.

She like-a da turkey bacon. - For women only. To be whispered during gynecological exams.

There's mommy's little buck-buck. - Kneel down and say this when you see a midget.

The dialogue from an episode of Three's Company! - Shout at concerts in place of "Freebird!"

Let's teabag that fucker! - Shout halfway through the eulogy.

Kegels 'til you bleed! - Shout as loud as you can at any person on a cell phone.

Queef on that nigga! - Response when someone disrespects you. And despite the use of "nigga," is to be used on assholes of any race. If someone bumps into you in a bar, whether they're black, white or one of those other gross races, give them a hearty "Queef on that nigga!"