Epiphanys

Wedding Season has made me think. Think about a lot of things.

My sister was just married this past weekend, and I've spent the past year helping her plan. Helping her plan had convinced me that I'm absolutely not doing things the "normal" way. I'm going to Vegas. Me, my prospective husband and Elvis....sounds awesome to me. But, I started thinking again......but, before I go there, let's go back a week or so.

After going to another wedding the weekend before my sister's, I had two epiphanys...one thanks to Deanna and the other thanks to an eharmony commercial of all things. The first: Maybe people getting married fast or young isn't such a bad thing. Deanna said it best, "maybe they're happy and holding on to the happiness where they can get it." Who the fuck am I to judge that? Cause, I've been single for four years.....they obviously know something I don't. Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't take back my single years for anything. I've gained valuable knowledge about myself, what I want and what I deserve in this time. However, it also makes me realize that I don't know nearly as much as I thought. Maybe this other couple and my sister have it right. They are happy....why begrudge them of that? No one knows what the future holds, regardless of circumstances. You could wait till you are 45 and have dated for four years and still get divorced a year into the marriage. You just do what feels right at the time, and hope for the best. Life is about learning through all these experiences, good or bad.

Now, the second epiphany: I watch a lot of TV and those stupid eharmony commercials are on all the time. There is one in particular I've always thought is interesting. It is one containing a couple consisting of a black woman and a white man. Now, not that interracial couples don't "go" together, but these two look mismatched to me. You know when you can look at a couple and they look like they make sense? These two don't. But, they are in this eharmony commercial, together and married for a few years and are seemingly very happy together. It made me think. I have this picture in my head of my perfect man, what he should basically look like, and be like. Whenever I've done dating sites in the past, I'll take one look at a picture of a guy and see that he's too skinny or too short, hair too long or a computer programmer and say no way. Well newsflash, I've been single for four years, maybe I should open up my perameters a little and be more accepting of different kinds of guys. I haven't found this "perfect" man and I'm becoming more and more convinced that when I do find him, he won't be anything like how I've envisioned, but he'll still be perfect FOR ME.

So, back to my sister's wedding. I had so much fun and could tell that Kelly and Michael were truly happy and excited to be getting married. As I danced with my dad at the wedding, he asked me "So, what do you think about these two?" I had to be honest and say that I think I've got a much more positive outlook on it all. See, being the Maid of Honor and standing so close to the bride and groom during the ceremony, you hear things you probably aren't supposed to. After Kelly and Michael kissed, they hugged, and I heard Michael whisper in Kelly's ear, "I love you so much." I told my dad this and he agreed with me. I say, if you can convince a couple of sarcastic cynics like my dad and I....there might be hope after all.

I think all this thinking is causing my sleeplessness. I should stop thinking and LIVE.